How much does it take to balance out the negativity?
I don’t watch the news any more. I don’t want the negativity in my house or in my head. But the internet still does a great job of trying to suck us in with all the headlines they put up. I find it astounding how much negativity rules the airwaves. And how much judgment and trash talking is digested on a daily basis.
I’m in Southern California to speak at a conference this week. And just like when I lived here, there is a barrage of media totally focused on the celebs. One of the main questions I’ve always had is…who elected all these media people to be in charge of judging people’s appearances? The big blow up this week was on Ashley Judd. Why oh why does the media feel they need to weigh in (pun intended) on whether she’s gained weight, had cosmetic surgery or why her face has a puffy appearance? Is this really all we have left? Continuing to judge other people based solely on appearance? Is this what we’ve been driven to and what gets people to watch the tabloid shows? Good lord…
So I guess the none of the people collecting and sharing this information have any issues in their lives? They never have a bad hair day, gain or lose a few pounds or go out in clothes that win them on a spot on the what not to wear list?
I’m noticing lately, it’s not just appearance either. It’s the jilted coach/employee, the jilted caddie and golf coach that feel they need to weigh in and make public comments on athletes they worked with or for. Um…what’s the point? The only reason people put someone else down is to make themselves look better…maybe a dose of healthy self-esteem would be a better solution.
I guess the reason it bothers me so much is I see the effects of the negativity everywhere. Yeah, this didn’t just happen, I get that. But how can people live their lives so focused on the negative? You will never change your life circumstances when all you focus on is the problems in your life. You have to begin looking for the solution if you expect to find one!
The other place that really illustrates the negative focus is Facebook. I read so many posts of people that are totally focused on what’s wrong, bitching and complaining day in and day out. Guess what?! It’s never gonna change when negativity is the focus of your life and your mindset.
Changing your vantage point takes a little practice. You’re breaking a well-developed habit. Shifting to see the glass as half full vs. half empty will take some getting used to. But it’s just like putting on a new pair of shades, it gives you a different lens to look through to a new perspective on life. Staying focused on all the negativity will keep you stuck, like stepping in cement. Making the choice to see the opportunities life hands you everyday vs. calling them problems is where you get to use your creativity and step outside box and color outside the lines. Our gifts of creativity are the biggest and least used gifts we have as humans.
Why not take a walk on the wild side? Use your creativity to see the world differently. Look for the positive, appreciate the opportunities life hands you and live every day with gusto. Remember, you ALWAYS have a choice, especially on how you view the world.
Coach Lori
For more information on creating a better mindset, contact us @ Coach@Learn2Balance.com
www.Learn2Balance.com
Hurray Alec Baldwin (seriously!)
If you’ve heard me speak or attended in any of tele-classes, you know I’m always talking about the sugar train. I bring this issue up every chance I get and in most every speech because nutrition is the foundation of a happy, peaceful, healthy and balanced life. And the sugar train is sure to take you down the road that leads to dis-ease, discomfort, moodiness and chronic complaints about life.
I talk about the sugar train regularly even though it isn’t a popular thing to do because most people don’t realize how much sugar they’re consuming on a daily basis. Sugar is toxic, sugar is addictive, just like a drug…and some even call it a drug. Sugar is hidden in many foods you consume unless you’re cooking real, whole food at home. (To raise your awareness, start reading labels.) It takes guts to change your habits and reduce or eliminate sugar from your diet. But the rewards are astounding.
I caught an episode of Letterman last week where he interviewed Alec Baldwin. Dave was asking him what he had done to lose weight. Alec said he found out he was allergic to sugar and had given up sugar, in all forms. My first thought was, “Hey love him or hate him, maybe a guy with this level of celebrity can help me make it cooler and wake people up about sugar.” So Hurray, Alec Baldwin!
I gave up sugar December 26th of 2011. I didn’t use much processed sugar in my diet before, but still had the occasional adult beverage. I knew the impact would be profound, but didn’t realize just how big it would be to my overall health and wellbeing.
I’ve had issues with my ear blocking up since I was a young girl. Once I dropped the sugar, I felt my ear clear up and I could hear better, I heard more subtleties. About a month after I quit, I noticed a whole new level of mental clarity and a strong connection to source energy (or God as you prefer). In part, just not having to make decisions about what to consume makes it much less dramatic.
I experimented a couple of times in March to see what would happen. And whammo, that first bit of sugar that comes in screams for more like it was just having the feeding frenzy yesterday. As I suspected it would. It took me a couple of weeks to let go, get off the sugar train again and get myself righted. But with my little experiment, it makes it even more clear how why I will stay on this path. My body has been telling me for awhile that it’s done with sugar and over it. Whenever I have any white flour, a vegan dessert or alcohol my body swells up. Kind of a no brainer.
Is living this way different than the norm? You betcha! Is it worth it? More than you’ll ever know, unless you try it. If you want to think better, feel better and BE better…give up your seat on the sugar train.
It’s funny, I spoke recently at a conferece in St. Louis to a room full of college students and one of the students commented that the information I shared as part of my speech as a “nutritional rant.” (Hmmm, must have hit a little too close for home for that person.) I gave the same speech two weeks later and lightened up on the nutritional piece to see how it would impact the college students in attendance and had a student came up to me afterwards and said, “I wish you would have talked more about nutrition.”
So I will continue to share this message which I believe is much more than important, in many instances, it’s truly a life saver. I’ll be sharing more on this topic, very soon.
For more information on how to reduce and eliminate sugar from your diet, contact us Coach@Learn2Balance.com
Coach Lori
Watch Dave’s interview with Alec.
Like this:
Learn2Balance Retreat in the Rockies
Whether it’s time for an oil change, fluid check, rotating the tires, or a full tune up, you have to do routine maintenance on your automobile if you want it to be dependable. If you don’t, your car has inconvenient ways of letting you know it’s overdue: like the moment you need to be somewhere and you’re running late-it won’t start, you get a flat tire, and the engine overheats.
Our bodies function the same way, however, many of us seem to think we can’t take time out to do simple routine maintenance…slowing down and just “being.” We neglect to tune into our hearts, reconnect with our spirit and find the joy within us that will refresh and rejuvenate us for the next leg of the journey. If we don’t slow down, our bodies break down…and put us flat on our backsides until we get the message.
Instead of pushing until your body screams “Uncle!” check this out.
A personal invitation from Lori
Something really cool is happening April 27-29, 2012 and I want YOU to be a part of it.
It’s my Learn2Balance Women’s Retreat in the Rockies. This is an event I’ve been working on for four years: this rich and powerful weekend in the serene Colorado Rockies includes opportunities to pamper yourself, have fun and learn the secrets to taking a quantum leap towards achieving your goals while maintaining a healthy balance in your life.
I’ve attended many events and seminars like this and I always make connections that empower and inspire me in ways I never imagined. I’ve worked with clients across the nation by phone and in person, but there is nothing like the live connection and atmosphere that a group of like-minded people creates. It is life-changing and transformational.
Picture this:
You arrive at the Joyful Journey Hot Springs and Spa and marvel at the expanse of mountains surrounding you. You bask in the soothing environment with your daughter or girlfriend and quickly make new ones while you take advantage of a spa treatment (or two). The food is delightful, healthy and prepared especially for you. The seminar and sessions challenge and empower you to create balance in all aspects of your life. You get inspired and…Read my invitation
FIND YOUR BALANCE
Make A Difference during National Eating Disorder Awareness Week
February 26 – March 3, 2012 is National Eating Disorder Awareness Week. Does it affect you personally or is it something you’ve elected to ignore because it’s one of these “mental health things” that makes most people uncomfortable?
Did you know that over 10 million individuals in the United States are suffering with eating disorders, and the numbers are
Lori's Award-winning book
increasing daily? Did you know that this number is completely skewed because so many individuals like me, have never told anyone? It wasn’t until my book, It Started with Pop-Tarts came out in 2008 that people knew I had lived with bulimia for many years. It’s embarrassing, it’s a behavioral addiction that forces you into isolation to hide the shame, guilt and fear you’re experiencing. But most of all, food and your body is all you can think about when you’re trapped in the devastating grip of anorexia, bulimia, binge eating and EDNOS (eating disorders not otherwise specified).
The landscape has changed. Eating disorders aren’t just for girls any more. And although the numbers are much higher for adolescent’s there are many middle-aged individuals falling prey to this addiction as well. Children as young as 6-7 years old are being diagnosed with eating disorders. Other people in their forties, fifties and sixties have been dealing with it for life. There is something incredibly wrong with this picture.
When I share my story and speak to raise awareness about eating disorders people are curious…from a comfortable distance. I hear questions like, “What do you say to someone who is getting deathly skinny? How do you approach a friend? When do you talk to your college roommate’s parents to let them know there is a problem…and is it really up to me to do something?”
One of the hardest things about trying to help someone with an eating disorder is that they have adopted a few traits which makes it downright difficult to help them.
1 – They isolate themselves, they may find creative ways to eat alone on a regular basis
2 – Until they are ready to face their fears, they live in denial, just like a drug addict and won’t admit it to you
3 – One of the most frustrating things in being on the inner circle of a person with an eating disorder is they will lie, manipulate other people and do whatever they have to do to continue the behavior that numbs them out to life’s pain. I’ve always said bulimics are great actors – you may not even be aware they have a problem because not all bulimics purge and their weight may not fluctuate.
Why have eating disorders reach such epic proportions? In part the american diet has contributed to this issue. The lack of balanced meals and proper nutrition that adversely affect the brain and body chemistry combined with the pressures of growing up, the media, expectations from people close to the individual, family relationships and unfortunately sexual abuse are top contributors.
Over 75% of women admit to having an unhealthy relationship to food and their bodies aka disordered eating. The statistics for men are high as well, they just haven’t been surveyed.
Our society has placed great emphasis on how we look. There are TV shows dedicated to judging how actors looked at the Oscars. Too many magazines at the checkout line in our grocery stores that show us what we need to look like to be beautiful or pretty. And even more proclaiming the magic way to lose that fat quickly, shape your butt, lose your gut and get the quick tune-up before summer. If we weren’t obsessed with our bodies and food these magazines wouldn’t be selling!
Effective Treatment
The biggest issue I have as an Eating Disorder, Stress and Nutrition Coach is that many people are being fed the information that they will struggle with this for a lifetime, that this will be a long and difficult path and they may never truly recover. It’s simply not true. The issue is the approach that’s being taken. When brain and body chemistry are balanced in addition to improving self-esteem, getting the focus off the behavior and getting to the root of the issue that is causing the individual to want to numb out people can and do recover to live healthy, happy, balanced lives.
Make a Difference
We all have the ability to make a difference whether you know someone personally that has issues or not. Every day you do and say things that affect other people in your life. The biggest opportunity you have this week is to reevaluate how you speak to others and what you say. Do you judge other people based on their size? Do you make off-handed comments that hurt other people’s feelings by calling them skinny, or fat or some other insensitive name? You may be doing it without even realizing it.
I was recently on the campus of Michigan Tech University to deliver a women’s empowerment workshop and wellness speech. I had lunch with a female student who told me a guy in her class recently said, “If you weren’t fat, you’d be pretty.”
#1 – This girl was not fat or overweight, she just wasn’t “model thin,” her body was beautiful and her face and eyes gorgeous and full of life.
#2 – As a male college student, or anyone else – where did he lose his manners to make such a judgement on someone else and even dare to speak it out loud?
These types of comments can be critically damaging to the individual receiving them depending on their level of self-esteem and confidence. This is exactly the type of thing that needs to stop in order for our society to begin to heal from this mess we’ve gotten into.
Make the Pledge
This week you have a chance to build awareness in your own day-to-day life. Evaluate what you are thinking about other people. Listen to what you say to other people. Consider how it would feel if others openly judged you, put you down and how it would make you feel. Then join me in taking the pledge not to judge people by the package they came in. We are all here for a specific purpose and that purpose is much deeper than the skin you’re in and physique other people see from the outside.
Make the “I Accept You As You Are” pledge this week
Send me an email with “Accept” in the subject line:
- Make the Pledge to accept everyone you meet, just the way they are
- Make the Pledge to stop judging people by how they look
- Make the Pledge to stop making fun of people who are obese or thin, or look different from you
- Make the Pledge to stop complimenting people who have lost weight – or commenting to those who gained
- Make the Pledge to remember that someone else’s physical appearance is none of your business
- Make the pledge to evaluate your own health and be the best you can be – so you too can accept yourself, just as you are
Together we can make a difference and eliminate the negativity that contributes to eating disorders and create a happier, healthier, world where everyone feels comfortable.
If you or someone you love is struggling with an eating disorder, please visit our website for a radically different alternative treatment that will break the chain of eating disorder behavior, calm the chaos, bring hope, inspiration and empowerment to your life.
Coach Lori
www.Learn2Balance.com
5 Easy Strategies for Eating Healthy When You Travel
If you travel on any type of regular basis for work, meetings or even recreation you’ve developed a philosophy about your eating habits on the road. Many people adopt the “Wahoo, I’m traveling, it’s a picnic” attitude and then complain about gaining weight, not feeling good or why they can’t stick to their healthy lifestyle.
The other philosophy, and the one I subscribe to is that traveling is no different than home and just takes a little preparation and commitment. In order to eat healthy I have to plan. I have a bit of experience on this topic because I traveled for work from 1988-1993 and now as a professional speaker I travel regularly. For me the choice is a no-brainer because my health is a top priority.
It’s a simple choice: How do you want to feel? Do you want to feel energized and sleep well so you can wake up in a different time zone without it kicking your ass, or feel groggy from eating fatty foods, drinking too much and having desserts you don’t normally eat? The affects/rewards are immediate regardless of the path you choose.
Here’s five proven strategies for keeping on your healthy eating plan while traveling.
1. Plan snacks for the trip
Pack snacks that will cover you from the time you leave home until you reach your destination. If you’re flying, the airlines don’t offer food anymore (not much of a loss there) so you need to be prepared. I always carry snacks including, small carrots, almonds, apples, bananas, celery with almond butter and protein bars. This way I can keep my blood sugar in balance even if it’s any early morning flight.
2. Look for healthy options at the airport
If you have a layover and have time to eat at the airport. Search out the healthy options. They’re there. I’m vegan which makes it a lot more difficult, but is doable. Look for the stand that has fresh fruit, and breakfast options. Have an egg sandwich on wheat minus the cheese and bacon, and avoid the white bagel.
3. Stay hydrated
It’s important to drink water when you’re traveling to keep your body in balance. Instead of using coffee to keep you going, drink plenty of water and hot herbal tea. By eliminating the coffee (which dehydrates you) and fancy coffee drinks that are loaded with sugar, you’ll have more energy and a better attitude to deal with any little travel issues that may present themselves.
4. Be selective at restaurants and hotels
It is easy to eat healthy in most restaurants and hotels. The trick I learned years ago is to look for the a la carte menu items. You can get poached eggs with fruit or wheat toast instead of a fat-filled breakfast of bacon, a cinnamon roll and scrambled eggs with cream and cheese in them. Most hotels and restaurants have oatmeal which you can order (minus the brown sugar) with fruit and yogurt for a nicely balanced breakfast.
For lunch order a nice salad with baked or grilled turkey, chicken or fish and ask for olive oil and fresh lemon on the side for your dressing. At dinner request a baked potato plain (it’s really tasty) ask for salsa if you need something to excite your potato taste buds. Request your vegetables steamed vs. slathered in butter. Order lean protein (broiled or grilled fish, chicken or turkey breast) to round out your meal. Skip the dessert. If you’re in the mood for something sweet, ask for fruit and enjoy with some hot herbal decaf tea. Notice how you feel the next day when you wake up.
5. Avoid or limit alcohol
If you have cocktails before dinner or have alcohol with your meal limit it to 1-2 glasses. Remember that wine has a high level of sugar and those empty carbohydrates and calories quickly add up and beer…well they don’t call them beer bellies for nothing. If you’re goal is to lose or maintain your weight, order something white like vodka or gin and mix with cranberry, orange or grapefruit juice instead of soda.
By using these strategies you can remain alert, feel good and have fun throwing your goals for a healthy lifestyle out the window. If you decide to splurg on something, keep it to one meal and get back on your healthly lifestyle goals the next meal. When you return home, you’ll feel great knowing you honored your commitment to taking care of yourself.
To learn more about how to balance your lifestyle, email us Coach@Learn2Balance.com
Coach Lori
Create Change, Make it Stick
How many times have you tried to make changes in your life? and how many different ways have you tried to incorporate them? Can you count them on one hand, or do you need two? There are the tried and true methods, and people follow rituals or formulas for making changes in their lives. I believe that the key is finding the right method that will assist you at the time you need it. It isn’t always the same process. When setting goals and implementing changes in my life I’m always keenly aware of the definition of insanity = doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.
How often is using the same process the game plan we use? Whether it’s losing weight, stopping smoking, starting an exercise program, being more patient, getting more organized, creating and following a schedule. More often than not, when we get ready to try again, we head down the same path. ESPECIALLY if it worked even once before. I know, I’ve been there and done that.
As promised in my last blog I’m going to share a personal journey I had with change that took more than a few years to get it right and make it stick. I’ve spent over 25 years studying brain function and the impact our thoughts, mindset and beliefs have on our ability to accomplish things in our lives. It truly fascinates me. Both the power of our brains and the lack of control we sometimes exercise over them. We are so easily fooled into thinking we have no choice, we’re stuck and have no willpower when it comes to giving something up that we really enjoy and know isn’t good for us. It’s easy to find all kinds of excuses why we can’t make it happen.
If you’re read my book, It Started with Pop-Tarts you know that after I stopped binging I merely shifted my numbing out exercise to drinking. It wasn’t until I started to write my book that I realized it. That’s why I call addiction, “The Whack-A-Mole” Syndrome. Until you connect with what’s at the core and deal with the root of the problem you just move the symptom over to something else. So once I got to the root of the problem and let it go I still had a life-long, deeply ingrained habit to deal with.
I’ve stopped drinking numerous times. Not because I had a problem with it. But because I could tell my body needed a break. The older I get, I just don’t process the alcohol very well (and it’s easier to keep my girlish figure without it). Over the past five years I’ve thought more and more about giving it up. Then I would think of all the situations where not drinking would be uncomfortable, the times when I just enjoy having a glass of wine and reminded myself that this was indeed, “my last remaining vice.” But in addition, to the fact that my body was tired of it, because I talk about the impact and destruction of sugar on our health and the Sugar Train when I speak, I felt I needed to cut the ties to vino.
Last fall I started experimenting, in numerous social situations I chose not to drink. Then I would compare how I felt physically and mentally over several days when I did indulge and when I didn’t. I gave myself time to process the differences and really get into the feeling of what being sugar-free would do or me. Each time I experimented, I went longer without it and the better I felt. So this time instead of setting some big goal or cut off…I just let myself BE in the new experience – I made it real. It became so inviting and tantilizing I wanted more of the new thing, the new way. And what was really interesting to me is that all the times I quit before and when I still wasn’t sure I was ready to, other people would rag on me to have a drink. But this time because I was happy in my decision, and comfortable with it not one person made a comment or asked why.
I decided to let it go. I walked away, moved forward and simply left the old pattern behind. The reward for doing so has been incredible. After being completely sugar-free for several weeks I discovered a new level of mental clarity, my days are much calmer, any cravings are merely blips and quickly pass. It turns out letting go of ego was one of the biggest parts to my success.
So if you’re contemplating making a change where you’re concerned what other people think or say. Or perhaps you’ve tried numerous times to lose weight, change a habit or don’t believe you can get to work on time go about it a different way. Experimence and try on the new habit and see how it feels. Then allow yourself to be in the comfortable old pattern and make a comparison. This is a process you need to do consciously. Write or journal about your experience and explore the details of what is happening. Reflection is a great tool for assisting you with making changes that may seem difficult, come to you easily.
Coach Lori
If you need help making difficult change come easier in your life, visit www.Learn2Balance.com
Do One Thing This Week
Most people think change is difficult. And depending on your mindset it can be. Often when you want to make a change in your life, the first thing you do is think of all the reasons why it will to be difficult and paint that picture in your mind.
Then you decide that if you’re going to make a change you’ve got to do it perfect, and encompass everything about this one thing all at once. That often brings a feeling of overwhelm. So you decide you will “try” to make the change and are now you’re whipped before you’ve even started.
“Try” tells your subconscious mind that you are going to fail. Think about it. Have you ever asked someone to come to your party or do something with you and they said they will “try.” Did they show up? NO!
It only takes six weeks to establish a new habit. The best way to accomplish any change is to break it up into manageable pieces.
#1 – Set a goal. Why do you want this change? What is motivating it? Is the motivation strong enough for you to keep with it?
#2 – Decide to do one thing each week to bring about this change in your life.
#3 – Commit to doing one thing every day that will help you achieve your task for the week and stay on track.
Change your list and “to do” items regularly to keep you challenged and moving forward. If you miss a deadline, let it be okay. Put it back on the list and do it next time. Don’t beat up on yourself, but continue to push yourself to reach the goal. If it’s important enough to you, you’ll do it.
Recognize that sometimes if something isn’t happening for you that perhaps it isn’t the right time to make this change and let it be okay. If it’s really important it will come back to you and you’ll know when to tackle it.
In our next blog I’ll share a personal story of making a big change in my life and how I made it easy.
Coach Lori
Visit www.Learn2Balance.com for help in making difficult change in your life come easy.
